music and fury

There it was:the storm i had been waiting for all day,it came in the night raging.As usual i was only half asleep ,so everything that happens around me acquires a dreamlike quality.I thought the wind had torn me apart and i was being blown around and smashed into subjects and thoughts that affect me deeply.Like quite recently i have travelled to New Delhi to sing .I had never been to India and was overcome by the thick noise and dust in the city and the sweaty streaks the palms of begging children left behind on the car windows.Because i was being driven around i could see the city from morning till the night in which some lay dying on the pavement .Early in the morning ,when i was all excited about the smells and the novelty of it all we drove past shantytowns ,people crouching in rags,and then a father washing the body of his small son .Very carefully he was pouring water out of a pot,not forgetting the boys ears.The boy was naked and clean sitting on a mountainof rubbish.I could understand why his father had washed him ,but it did seem pointless.Well,maybe this boy will escape and get a job in a circus....I'm. raging with the wind here of course.How can it be that i hear bits of the final quintet in Don Giovanni, Donna Elvira begging her friends to have compassion ,to forgive her lover giovanni.NO,No,No,No they sing .Has a negative answer ever been modulated this well.It is in the same tonalities as the Reqiuem of course.But,the wind is pulling me in the other direction again,i remember my postIndia conversation with a hommes de lettres back in Dublin.When i mentioned the poverty and the cildren he looked at me coldly .These children were gypsies and the same kids all over town came begging at your windows.The wind,ah that's why i'm tinking about this,thse kids must be faster then the wind being able to cover distances of long miles and thinning themselves out ino a small groups of gypsies out of a population of millions.What was the old eedjet telling me?That he was an eedjet obviously.I was tired of showing respect and just left him standing there.I'm torn apart by the wind and sleep.If i have a diva's ego it is being shredded at the moment in the night.Because i got up and started writing this blog,wondering,always wondering how i can mould classical/contemporary music, into a different way of performing ,combining it with the best of what popular music has on offer at the moment.Every time i sing for a non-classical audience i get such euphoric reactions .Must sleep in space for now