thoughts on thoughts

Francis Bacon the painter used to brush up his eyebrows with shoepolish and Pavarotti the Tenor with the Voice used to brush up his sideburns with shoepolish.Did they use the same brand I wonder when i am lying nose down on a massagetable and the girl is doing something to my ears .Is she trying to turn me into a hare pulling at them like that or is this just one more holistic movement that i have’nt been able to get in touch with .Yet.Instead i start thinking about ugly gifted men embellishing themselves before going on a roll or on stage and how totally endearing i find the idea of these men carefully filling in their image in the mirror with a cheap ,smelly thick paste.In Bacon’s case he was probably humming away at a sailor song imagining the firm body of a sailor as a cantus firmus to his humming dom dee dom.But Luciano?secretly rubbing his tummy ,checking his breath while remembering a U2 song that Bono in vain tried to teach him. .That brings me to Sarajevo where my very much loved Auntie Katia came from.Because ,you see spacepeople ,Pavarotti did the sarajevo thing with U2 clutching the handkerchief.And his eyes filled with LUVE.Not the kind ,i think ,that my aunt Katia brought with her to Holland when she fled the nazis.This woman with her birdlike frame and dark eyes , was a professor of literature at the universiy of moscow and married a prominent dutch politician in Russia who then abandoned her once they had reached the windmills and the canals of his homeland.With their two sons she moved in with a friend.And we saw a lot of her all through my early youth.She said, with her rrrs rolling in that accent of hers.You can never love enough Judithka.Normally i like to scalp people who molest my name but in her case it was allright:she was LOVE incarnate.Intelligent,generous warm ,heart over head love.It is the most difficult of matters to interpret love in a song.Let’s abandon the interpretation in real life time,because thats for a brighter day.In Pavarotti’s case the loose jaw and perfect breathcontrol did enable him to project a type of love over the stagelights.It worked.people felt that they loved him .And his music??A little bit too i suppose.What i love about Pavarotti apart from the breathcontrol which i am very partial to ,is the fact that with all this secure love inside him and around him he still felt the need for the shoepolish in his hair . Like i feel the need to have my ears pulled in shape when i should be practicing how to bring love into my songs.